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Dying Your Way PDF Print E-mail
by Thomas A. Preston, M.D.
DYING YOUR WAY

Although medical technology saves the lives of many and is able to prolong life for most of us, we are now in an era of having to deal with an undesirable side effect— prolonged dying. The same technology that adds months or years to patients with otherwise fatal diseases can also extend suffering during the last phases of life. Whereas people with terminal illnesses used to die relatively quickly of pneumonia or heart attacks, the dying process is now extended with operations, multiple rounds of chemotherapy or other treatments that do not cure but only prolong dying.

All too often these new forms of techno-dying mean increased suffering. Although a majority of Americans would prefer to die in peace at home, about 70 percent die in medical institutions and about 40 percent spend at least 10 days in an intensive care unit at the end of life. Worse yet, a majority of dying patients experience severe, undertreated pain in the last stages of dying.

Modern medicine has become sort of a Faustian bargain—we want it when it gives us longer life with reasonably good quality but it can turn against us with increased suffering at the end. Our interactions with techno-medicine and how they affect us are based on many decisions made over months or years so if we want to die peacefully, we need to give serious thought about the modern way of dying and how we can do it on our own terms.

PLANNING AND DECISION MAKING
The antidote for the agony of weeks or months of extended high-tech dying is planning ahead and then participating in medical decisions. Make no mistake, unless you die suddenly or without any medical care, many decisions will be made that will determine the manner in which you die and when. Whether you have another round of chemotherapy, whether you stay in the hospital or go home to die, even something so seemingly simple as whether you have antibiotics for an infection, or another blood transfusion, all such decisions have great implications as to how long and how peaceful the dying process will be.

Furthermore, advance planning is necessary because the most important decisions often arise after a patient is no longer mentally able to make decisions. For example, the decision as to whether someone should be treated with an artificial ventilator often comes when that person is unconscious after an operation or a stroke. And the decision whether to go to an intensive care unit or to go home to die often must be made when the patient is heavily drugged or sedated.

The key to peaceful dying is shared decisionmaking, with patient, family and doctors all involved. I’m not suggesting you do it all on your own, just that you participate in making decisions that reflect your values and goals. Remember, “no decision is a decision,” because it means someone else will make it for you. Many doctors will be making important decisions that affect you; they tend to “do everything possible” rather than to make decisions based on your choices. If you don’t get involved in these decisions, someone else (maybe the doctor on call in the ER) will make them for you. So you have every right to participate and you must participate if you want control over how you die.

But you need the help of your physicians for their expertise in advising you and as your agents who will be carrying out your wishes. You have to be very clear with your physicians and you must have their agreement in advance to help you die your way. Above all, you need the understanding and support of your family because they will be pinch-hitting for you after you cannot make decisions. Without their help in carrying out your wishes, the doctors may not act as you wanted them to do.

Helpful change is in the air—more and more physicians are heeding the pleas of their patients for more peaceful dying. Movements for better pain management and more hospices or “comfort care” units within hospitals are gaining momentum. Some physicians remain resistant to these trends but in general it is becoming easier for patients to assert their wishes for how they die through advance planning and discussions with physicians.

PLANNING IN ADVANCE
What then are the methods and options for planning and joint decision-making? Start with written advance directives. A living will is essentially a statement about how you want to be treated when you are dying. This statement tells your doctors what you want done if you are dying and become unconscious or unable to make decisions. For example, would you want to be resuscitated if your heart stopped or would you want to be put on a breathing machine? The living will is a guideline to your goals and choices but you should back it up with a durable power of attorney—a document through which you appoint someone (usually a close relative) to make medical decisions for you if you become unable to do so.

Give these advance directives to your physicians as their guide to your end-of-life treatment. It is important also to discuss them with your family. This is perhaps the easiest way to ease into a discussion of your wishes with close family members so they will know what you want when or if they have to make decisions for you.

SHORTENING THE DYING PROCESS
Learn how you can limit suffering at the end of life, if you wish, by avoiding or withdrawing treatments that probably would do no more than extend the final phase of dying. Overall, this is probably the most important and effective way of avoiding prolonged suffering. Most people die in hospitals after their lives have been drawn out far past their natural limits and the point of meaningful existence. But to avoid such futile therapy you really have to plan in advance through discussions with your doctors and family. If a doctor says, “You need this operation,” or “another round of chemotherapy,” or “a feeding tube,” it’s almost impossible to “just say no” if you haven’t discussed it in advance. Everyone involved must know that you do not want “long-shot” cures that in all likelihood will only add weeks or months to your dying process. Preparing for this takes some time and work but it’s well worthwhile.

HOSPICE AND PALLIATIVE CARE
Learn about hospice and the option of “palliative care,” which means concentrating on relief of discomfort at end of life. In order to avoid prolonged dying it is often necessary to “let go” and to give up on the notion of a cure. This is not easy and although it is possible to continue to seek a cure and to get effective relief of symptoms, often the search for a cure prevents effective relief of physical suffering. And studies show that when a cure becomes medically unlikely, those who continue trying for a cure do not live as long and have poorer control of physical symptoms than those who concentrate on palliative care. This underlies the concept of hospice programs that provide patients with no “curative” therapy but concentrate on aggressive treatment of symptoms as well as psychological, social and spiritual concerns. For many patients hospice provides the best quality of life during the final weeks or months, with the best chance of peaceful dying.

AGGRESSIVE PAIN MANAGEMENT
Learn about legal and aggressive treatment with morphine or by “terminal sedation,” if necessary, to eliminate suffering. Physicians often are reluctant to give morphine or other narcotics even to dying patients. But times are changing. Physicians now have less to fear legally from giving large enough doses of morphine to relieve suffering of dying patients, even if the drug might shorten life slightly, which is actually unlikely. “Addiction” with large doses of narcotics is not an issue in dying patients because the drug is being given for a medical, not a social, need.

However, even today many physicians will not voluntarily give enough morphine to quell all pain. You must plan on asking for more pain relief if you aren’t getting enough. This takes some assertiveness but more and more physicians will respond if asked. Also, the family must be ready to jump in and ask for—insist if necessary—better pain relief. If morphine cannot accomplish adequate symptom control, as is rarely the case, it is ethical and legal for a physician to sedate a dying patient to unconsciousness so as to eliminate all suffering. Death ensues for any patient receiving this “terminal sedation” when (also with patient and family request) fluids and nutrition are simultaneously withdrawn.

As with other aspects of end-of-life medical care, you need planning and joint decision-making with your family and physicians to achieve these treatments. If your doctor or hospice nurse knows in advance that you want aggressive and maximal pain relief, you will likely get it.

PEACEFUL DYING
Figure out your goals for peaceful dying and prepare for it. Be in control and ask your family and doctors to understand your goals and help you attain them. To have peaceful dying you should connect with your loved ones. Gather them around you and tell them how much you love them. Settle any unfinished business, interpersonal or otherwise. Seek reconciliation, if appropriate. Ask your loved ones for forgiveness and give the same to them. Seek spiritual peace and readiness in your way. Say good-bye.

Bear in mind that although these nonphysical aspects of peaceful dying are as important as the physical ones, a dying person in physical pain or distress cannot achieve personal or spiritual peace or closure. If you are a loved one, help the dying person reach her goals. Be sure she has enough pain relief to do what she needs to do. If suffering worsens, take charge in asking the medical personnel for better control. Hold her hand and tell her you’ll miss her but it’s all right if she leaves you. Say good-bye.

Things are changing—you can do it.

Thomas A. Preston, M.D. is the author of Final Victory, Taking Charge Of The Last Stages of Life Facing Death On Your Own Terms, published by Prima Publishing (October 2000).

Preston is professor of medicine at the University of Washington. Although he has retired from active practice, he continues to teach classes to medical students.

He has appeared as a medical expert on numerous national television programs including “60 Minutes,” “Good Morning America,” “CBS Morning News,” “NBC Nightly News,” “ABC Evening News,” “McNeil/Lehrer Report,” “Face The Nation,” “Nova” and a PBS special on health. His articles about medicine have appeared in publications such as the New York Times, Newsweek, Atlantic Monthly, Washington Post and Reader’s Digest.

He has written two other books, Coronary Artery Surgery: A Critical Review regarding the overuse of operations and The Clay Pedestal which focuses on the medical profession. Dr. Preston lives in Seattle, Washington.
 
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